The Unhelpful Trap of the Oppression Olympics
"There are people starving in Africa, you should be grateful for how good you've got it."
Does that sound familiar? Yeah, I think most of us heard comments like that when we were kids, and an alarming number of us wind up repeating the same thing to the children in our lives. Or, if we're feeling especially condescending, we might even say it to our adult friends and family.
There are various versions of this sentiment that people throw around. Thought-terminating clichés that exist to make you stop talking about the problems in your life because they 'don't matter in the grand scheme of things.'
It doesn't seem like a big deal to point this out to others; that other people have it harder than you do, so you really have nothing to complain about. But when you think about it, it's a really shitty thing to say.
To show you why, let's take a look at a less common, but still frequently-used example that some men say to women: "You're not oppressed, women in other countries can't even vote."
Do you see it?
Most women I know in North America will tell you that our situation still isn't amazing. We've got it comparatively good, sure. But try getting the police to take you seriously if you report sexual assault. Try getting your attacker to face any form of justice, especially if he's 'a nice boy from a good family, and we don't want to ruin his life.'
So, yeah. Maybe we have the vote. But we've also got plenty of real, very serious threats all around us. Sexism is still alive and well. I'd argue that the 'you're not oppressed' comment is an example of it.
There's this idea that some people have, that we need to be grateful for everything good in our lives and that we're not allowed to complain when things go wrong. We have it good in our country, or in our generation, and we have no right to be upset.
I call bullshit. You have every right to be angry.
There's a term for ideas like this; The Oppression Olympics. It's a rather derogatory accusation that suggests that marginalized communities are in competition with each other, each trying to victimize ourselves as much as possible for attention.
It's the idea that the most oppressed people in the room are the only ones deserving of attention, and the rest of us should sit down and shut up.
Now, as a strong believer in the concept of Intersectional Activism, I find this idea revolting.
Sure, there are times when certain communities are holding the microphone and have the right to determine the conversation. The Black Lives Matter protests were a good example of this. Given that the entire movement was based around fighting racially-motivated police brutality against Black citizens, their voices carried the weight.
As they should, because they were speaking about their personal experiences. They still are, by the way. The problem of police brutality has not been solved.
Likewise at Pride. The LGBTQ+ community is very much being targeted by the law right now, and we need to be able to stand up and say that.
That doesn't mean that the women's marches against the overturning of Roe vs Wade were less important. That doesn't mean that the volunteers bringing supplies to asylum-seekers at the border should pack up their trucks and go home.
It doesn't mean that a young woman who is being abused and harassed by a man at her workplace should just grin and bear it, because she doesn't have it as bad as somebody literally being beaten by a cop.
No, she should talk about it.
If she doesn't talk about it, nothing will change.
It isn't about stealing the spotlight or trying to make your situation seem worse compared to other people. It isn't about comparing your situation to anyone else's at all.
We should not have to compare.
We should be able to just acknowledge issues that people raise without slapping them down and trying to minimize their plea for understanding.
This month's topic is all about racism and modern-day slavery. Many working class people, especially immigrants, have a difficult road ahead of them. Telling them that 'they don't know how good they have it' here in North America is not helpful.
Telling people that racism isn't a barrier for them because 'slavery ended in 1863' is fucked up. Don't do that. It's especially nasty to suggest that they're playing the victim or making excuses if they feel that the deck is stacked against them.
Shutting down conversations around mistreatment and unhappiness is the wrong play. We should welcome those conversations, listen to what the other person is saying, and take it seriously.
If we can't talk about it, we can't fix it. Stop telling people to be silent.
Solidarity wins.
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